It could sound rather brutal to hear that we'll never find the right person, but it's in fact the most generous and optimistic sentiment, because only once we give up on the absurd dream of finding the Right Person (who doesn't exist for anyone), can we start to make it work with that far more realistic and likely partner: the good enough person.
Showing posts with label The School of Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The School of Life. Show all posts
22 September 2018
The School of Life: The Golden Child Syndrome
It's tough of course not to have been loved much by one's parents; but there's a real challenge too in having been loved too much, or rather, admired in a stifling unreal way that lies at the core of what we call 'the golden child syndrome.' Golden children aren't - despite appearances - privileged at all; they suffer from the enormous burden of expectation placed on their too-young shoulders by over-eager parents.
25 January 2018
The School of Life: In Praise Of Bias
“A presumption among many thoughtful people is that the great enemy of a good life and a decent world is something called ‘bias’. By bias, people have come to understand a twisting of the facts towards dark and entirely nefarious ends. According to this interpretation, bias is invariably and necessarily bad. In some quarters, the word has simply grown synonymous with evil…”
13 January 2018
The School of Life: NIETZSCHE ON: Amor Fati
“One of the strangest yet most intriguing aspects of Friedrich Nietzsche’s ideas is his repeated enthusiasm for a concept that he called amor fati (translated from Latin as ‘a love of one’s fate’, or as we might put it, a resolute, enthusiastic acceptance of everything that has happened in one’s life). The person of amor fati doesn’t seek to erase anything of their past, but rather accepts what has occurred, the good and the bad, the mistaken and the wise, with strength and an all-embracing gratitude that borders on a kind of enthusiastic affection…”
4 October 2017
The School of Life: The Origins of Suicide
One of the oddest facts about the tragedy of suicide is that it isn’t as common in every country, society and age. Rates of suicide appear to rise enormously the more a society becomes wealthy and industrialised. Why should this be? And how can we learn from this about how we might better prevent a terrible loss of life?
27 September 2017
The School of Life: On Still Being a Virgin
Our era of sexual liberation encourages us to have sex; but at the same time, hugely stigmatises those who don’t have it, from choice or circumstances. It’s time to liberate the idea of lingering or ongoing virginity from the shame it’s currently surrounded by.
6 September 2017
The School of Life: How to Deal With A Crisis of Meaning
Many of us are regularly thrown off course by what we might term ‘crisis of meaning’; periods when what we are up to seems not to connect up with anything purposeful or properly dignified. It’s at such moments that we need to lean on a bigger theory of what meaning is, where it comes from, and how our lives relate to it.
1 September 2017
The School of Life: Why We Need Ancient Greek Words for Love
Many of our relationship problems stem from the emptiness of our vocabulary around our affectionate emotion. We have only the minimal word 'love'. Luckily, the Ancient Greeks had a more nuanced and complicated vocabulary that we can usefully borrow from.
20 July 2017
The School of Life: The Cure for Unrequited Love
The real cruelty of unrequited love is that we don’t get to know our beloveds well enough to find out their flaws – and therefore to lose interest in them gradually. The best cure for love is in essence: get to know them better.
28 June 2017
23 June 2017
The School of Life: How to Narrate Your Life Story
The difference between despair and hope often boils down to different ways of telling stories from the same set of facts. Some of the art of living means learning how to tell the story of our lives back to ourselves.
15 June 2017
24 April 2017
The School of Life: Meritocracy (Aug 24, 2015)
We've been taught to feel very good about the fact that many of our societies are now apparently 'meritocracies.' But the concept of meritocracy is - from close up - rather more peculiar than modern politicians make out.
14 February 2017
12 February 2017
24 January 2017
The Los Angeles Review of Books: Philosophes sans Frontièrs
AS ACADEMIC PHILOSOPHY becomes ever more specialized, a number of philosophers have sought to bring philosophizing out of the ivory tower and into the street. Specialized cafes, book clubs, and “philosophy of everyday life” courses, like those in Alain de Botton’s School of Life enterprise, all point to the same cultural and social desire for high-quality intellectual conversation. In Teaching Plato in Palestine, Canadian-Brazilian philosopher Carlos Fraenkel pushes this democratizing impulse in a radical direction, traveling to some of the more conflicted communities across the globe with the aim of showing how philosophy can contribute to what he calls a “culture of debate.” His fascinating experiences as an itinerant philosopher, discussing classical philosophical texts (Greek, but also Jewish and Islamic) with students from Palestine and Makassar (Indonesia), Hasidic Jews in New York, high schoolers in Brazil, and members of the Mohawk community in Canada, demonstrate how philosophy can educate citizens and cultivate an ethos of mutual understanding. If one ever needed a book to suggest to those skeptical about the social benefits of philosophy, Teaching Plato in Palestine would be one to recommend.
The volume emerged out of Fraenkel’s experiences as a doctoral student working on Arabic and Hebraic texts while studying in Cairo. He soon discovered there was more to philosophy than analyzing arguments and devising objections. Muslim students he met became concerned with saving his soul by converting him to Islam, while Fraenkel, in turn, wanted to “save them from wasting their real life for an illusory afterlife” by converting them to a secular worldview. The result was a lively philosophical exchange over arguments for God’s existence, which did not lead to any definite conclusions (or conversions) but did prompt Fraenkel to pose two questions: Can philosophy be useful beyond the academy? And can it contribute to the transformation of conflicts over diversity into an ethical “culture of debate,” that is, a practice of rational discussion over conflicting values in a divided world? [...]
A recurring issue throughout is the tension between a commitment to religious faith and pursuing the philosophical maxim of leading a rationally examined life. As Fraenkel remarks, while most students accept the idea of examining religious views in a Socratic manner, “their commitment to the truth of Islam leaves no room for confusion.” Some of them attempt to turn the tables on their teacher, asking Fraenkel how a secular citizen could live an examined life; according to one student, many Westerners are moral relativists who equate freedom with individual choice but also view “all choices as equal.” While acknowledging that relativism makes questioning futile, Fraenkel points out that such interrogations should also be applied to the Islamic faith, which leads to a rather one-sided discussion of the differences between Sunni and Shī‘ite Muslims. The debate ends inconclusively but prompts Fraenkel to remark that one way beyond dogmatically asserting the superiority of one’s moral beliefs is to explore the shared traditions between the West and the Muslim world in order to “conduct an open discussion on an equal footing.” Despite the ongoing conflicts in Israel, Fraenkel leaves his students to ponder how philosophy might help resolve these moral-political disputes via ethical questioning and rational discussion.
10 January 2017
The School of Life: The Purpose of Friendship
Our desire to build good and lasting friendships is often undermined by a lack of focus on what friendship should really be about. Getting clear about what friendship is for isn’t cynical; it provides the foundation for genuine bonds.
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