26 July 2019

The Guardian: Boris Johnson can’t be found out: we all know he’s bluffing

As Boris Johnson walked up to the podium at 10 Downing Street to make his first address as prime minister, they should have played Leonard Cohen’s Everybody Knows as his fanfare: “Everybody knows that the boat is leaking / Everybody knows that the captain lied.” For the one thing that can be said in Johnson’s defence is that he is not a conman. Yes, of course, he speaks fluent falsehood as his native language. But he deceives no one. Everybody knows.[...]

Johnson’s fictions have always had a kind of postmodern quality – everybody knows they are fictions. Take the example that Johnson himself has constantly cited, what he called his “foam-flecked hymns of hate to the latest Euro-infamy: the ban on the prawn cocktail flavour crisp”. Everybody knows and has always known that there was no such ban. Why? Because everybody could walk into a shop and buy a packet of prawn cocktail flavour crisps.

Equally, his more recent brandishing of a kipper to embody another Euro-infamy was a kind of camp self-parody in which the performance is everything and the relationship to truth simply irrelevant. In this sense, there is no more deception than there is at a pantomime. The point is not to make a claim about reality. It is to draw the audience into a knowingly comic complicity with unreality, so that, when the EU says “but we never banned prawn cocktail flavour crisps”, everyone can shout out together, “Oh yes you did!”

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