But as Carrie Jenkins, a philosophy professor at the University of British Columbia, points out in her recently published book, What Love Is, that concept of love is actually the product of a very narrow social script. And our insistence that love should be monogamous, permanent, and child-bearing often leads to un-fairytale-like consequences. [...]
Though the social script of romantic love today has recently expanded to allow for same-sex romance, it still expects monogamy, permanence, marriage, and babies. Such expectations are damaging for those who don’t wish to follow such a narrative, argues Jenkins. This applies to those in polyamorous relationships but also single people, and those who don’t want children. There’s so much pressure that some couples have kids because it’s seen as the inevitable right thing to do, she says, which is harmful for both the kids and parents. [...]
Though this social construct can shift over time, Jenkins says, that doesn’t happen easily. “Some people think it’s made up like fiction is made up, but I’m trying to say it’s made up like the law is made up,” says Jenkins. “We made it, but now it’s real.” [...]
It’s impossible to predict exactly how the social script around love will change in the coming decades, says Jenkins. There are early signs that the importance of permanence in romantic love is starting to fade, with talk of short-term renewable marriage contracts. More people seem to believe that a romantic relationship can be successful even if it ends by choice, rather than one partner dying.
No comments:
Post a Comment