Not true. The growth in the number of our friends has actually been accompanied with an increase in social isolation, as Sherry Turkle describes. We are more connected, yet more alone. It turns out that there is a correlation between Facebook use and loneliness. The very highest users of Facebook tend to feel less satisfied with life and are less happy. One study found that Facebook usage worsens mood, whereas using the internet for the same period of time did not. I must emphasize that the research on Facebook and other forms of social media is not universally negative; it can usefully serve as a way to reinforce real-world relationships. In addition, it appears that it is not Facebook that makes you lonely, but that lonely people use Facebook more. However, what is striking is that the research into our connection to more people than ever before is not universally positive—it’s not even close. This stands in stark contrast to the general research on the critical value of relationships on all aspects of well-being. [...]
Unfortunately, in the US and elsewhere it seems we’re going down the popularity route, instead of building close relationships. In 1985, a survey asked people about how many friends they had discussed important matters with. The most common answer was three, with 59% of people having three or more confidants. In 2004, the most common answer to this question was zero. Yet close friends and confidents are hugely valuable. One study suggested the benefit, from a health and happiness perspective, of having a good friend who you see every day is equivalent to an extra $100,000 on your income!
I like to link Kasser’s work with the brilliant research into primates by Robin Dunbar where he estimated the maximum size of social groupings in apes as well as humans, based on the size of their brain. It turns out the maximum number of relationships humans can manage is 150. This has become known as Dunbar’s number. What is less widely known is that his research showed other numbers too. For example, he found people tend to have five people closest to them, then the next level of closeness involves 15 people, then 50, then 150. Nearly all the well-being benefits from relationships don’t come from the 500 Facebook friends, or even the 150 or the 50. They come from the 15. Quality time spent with your 15 closest friends and family will have a direct impact on your happiness, health and longevity (and theirs too). As Ed Diener and Martin Seligman found from an analysis of very happy people, the thing that united them was strong ties to close friends and family and a commitment to spending real face time with them.
No comments:
Post a Comment