20 March 2017

The Conversation: Revenge isn’t always sweet, but it can be beautiful

About 20 years ago, we started conducting research on revenge after noticing that people often struggle with forgiveness – even forgiving the people they love. In most relationships, people usually want to feel like they’re getting a fair deal, and revenge is one recourse they have if they feel they’ve been slighted.

Some forms of revenge do make the perpetrator feel better, though it’s usually not as “sweet” as imagined. A number of other factors influence how people feel about committing revenge, from how it’s crafted to the target’s reaction. [...]

At least two factors determine whether a person feels good or bad about revenge.

One is how “beautiful” or aesthetically pleasing the act of revenge seems. In one study, researchers asked a group of MBA students to tell two stories they personally knew about a time that they (or someone they knew) had taken revenge on a coworker. [...]

The other factor that influences how people feel about revenge is the target’s reaction. [...]

So in order for revenge to be enjoyable, the way it is crafted, performed and responded to seem to matter. The best kinds make people feel like they are living in a better, more controllable and fair world. Others – especially those that make people feel regret, don’t change the offender or result in lopsided amounts of harm – are probably not as sweet as you’d imagine them to be.

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