18 May 2016

The Huffington Post: On Bisexual Erasure in the Queer Community

I’ve had straight and queer friends assume I’ve never dated anyone but women simply because of who I’m dating right now. I’ve had lesbian friends make fun of people who like men, and I’ve had queer friends say that one day I’ll eventually “pick” a “side.” [...]

Every relationship I’ve had, whether it was a hookup, a long-term monogamous coupling, an open-dating situation or anything else, has mattered to me.

When people rather I call myself a lesbian because they don’t like the word “queer,” or get confused by bisexuality, they’re stripping me of years of relationships and connections, romantic and sexual.

But more importantly, they’re asking me to strip away different versions of myself to make them more comfortable. I was once a total boy-obsessed straight girl. I was that person for over a decade. I’m not going to just ditch that younger version of myself, or act like I was hiding some sort of queerness the entire time.

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